So, being the crazy person that I am, I offered to beta for you, for an exchange story. I thought, well, I had liked several of your other stories--I mean, sure. You had a lot of stories that made me just close the tab after a sentence or two, but your latest stories had been pretty good. I thought that it wouldn't be impossible.
You wrote an epic. More than 30,000 words, and almost every single one of those were grammatically incorrect or else just bad writing. You had character A, a passive guy, beating up character B, who is not only his best friend, but his supposed lover in the story. Character B? Is suddenly a freaking mother hen, though he's never nagged
in the series, though goodness knows he's the only one who would be brave enough to. He is also not a frail, weak, helpless girl, a fact that seems to have gone right over your head.
That was bad enough. But now you have character A, who is the only character in the series who has ever gone on a rant about honor, about to rape character B.
So. How the hell do I tell you that your story is OOC crap?( Collapse )
Our current submission post is here.